A story of love, loss, murder most foul, and of course, dank ass memes. Plausible deniability follows the the roll playing campaign of the most dysfunctional, but adorable gang ever.
hopeless romantic poet who keeps leaving his goddamn mugs everywhere
NAME: Kieran Chavez
AGE: 19
BIRTHDAY: 11/18/1998
GENDER: male
PRONOUNS: he/him
APPEARANCE: 6’1, medium brown skin, curly dark brown hair with an undercut, hazel eyes, muscular and strong and can probably carry you, scar on his leg from falling out of a tree when he was little, pierced ears and tongue but it closed up, always wears a cross
AESTHETIC: ugly and bright chunky sweaters, tight pants, glitter and gold
SEXUALITY: pansexual
RELATIONSHIPS: dating Mikael, really close friends with Lex and Jay, on friendly terms with everyone else
FAMILY MEMBERS: little sisters Rosie (9) Marielle (11), mom and dad all live in Nevada
TRAITS: likes to please others, romantic but ive in the vaentine’s day cheesy way not the overdramatic way, clumsy, anxious mixed with shy, kindhearted, puns, a bit oblivious when it comes to not being rude but he tries so hard, messy
LIKES: literature like holy heck he’s such a nerd, plays and poetry sometimes he writes cheesy poems for mikael it’s so cute, dancing, puns, dramas and romances (he’s not too big on musicals but that doesn’t mean he won’t bust out the entirety of little shop of horrors for mikael),
DISLIKES: terrified of getting kidnapped and heights, talking to people, being critiqued (it makes him nervous), large crowds, anxiety makes him anxious, cleaning
BACKSTORY: he grew up in a small suburban neighborhood in Nevada where he had accumulated a nice neighborhood friend group and was part of a theater group outside of school. His dad wasn’t the most nurturing person, but his parents love him lots. It was his mom’s idea to enroll him in a private school known for its theater program where he met Mikael. He’s been dating mikael for almost two years and he’s definitely been over to Kieran’s house and doted on by his mom and sisters. Now that he’s 19 he lives with Mikael in Washington where he goes to school as a theater major and works as a dancer part time.
“the tree talks too much”
NAME: Henri Erickson
NICKNAMES: tree boy, plant man, fucking twig, chrysanthemum, literally any plant name (all courtesy of Lex)
AGE: 17
BIRTHDAY: 4/13/1999
GENDER: pangender (most tree nymphs consider themselves agender, pangender, or genderfluid if they choose to abide by human gender ideals but there’s quite a bit of variety and it’s hard to keep up with)
PRONOUNS: he/him they/them
SPECIES: tree nymph/dryad
APPEARANCE: 5’10, olive skin, short light brown hair always in a different style, dark blue eyes, willowy
SEXUALITY: aro/ace
AESTHETIC: cute and flowery and eclectic with lolita and flower crowns and everything shiny he’s just a huge cutie okay
RELATIONSHIPS: he talks to everyone he can and gets along with Suqi really well
FAMILY MEMBERS: none ?? (nymphs sprout from dead ones so technically his only “parent” is deceased and the forest is all related so)
TRAITS: talks a lot, ignores people a lot, excitable,bad at social cues, stubborn, extravert, loves complimenting people, easily engulfed in new ideas, materialistic, creative
LIKES: flowers and plants of any kind, frills and soft fabric, feeling things he’s very touch based, decorating (especially his branches), glittery or shiny things, running around/kids games, being called cute, sewing, making art in any form, knowing everything, tv shows and movies
DISLIKES: being forgotten or left out, when people won’t let him explain his gender though he’s pretty stiff when it comes to it along with nymph culture, people making fun of his or anyone else’s appearance, being called boring or annoying
HOBBIES/TALENTS: the best memory ever, really good at fixing things, sculptural artist
BACKSTORY: He grew up in the western dryad community in the woods of Washington. He and his nymph friends would spend most of their time in the city or in the parks without much supervision. He grew up knowing all about human society, as dryads are a generally friendly and communicative species and will often go to public school up until the age of 16-18. Henri is in highschool still but once he graduates he’ll go back to his village for vocational training, like most other dryads his age. He’s so sweet and loves his home and life and just everything
misled child who fell into a rotten misfortune
NAME: Aiden Bohr
AGE: 19
BIRTHDAY: 8/9/1997
SPECIES: siren
PRONOUNS: she/her, but they don’t mean much to her
APPEARANCE: 5’8, ashy skin, short and choppy white hair, ice blue eyes, curvy build, bridge piercing
SEXUALITY: doesn’t work like humans, closest would be considered a polyamorous lesbian
AESTHETIC: monochrome, comfy, androgynous strega
RELATIONSHIPS: dated Suqi a year ago, knew Henri through her, stays away from most everyone now
FAMILY MEMBERS: three “moms”, five “sisters”
TRAITS: messy, distant, dedicated, she’s trying to work on the distance thing, protective, stubborn, holds grudges, possessive, empathetic, determined, reckless
LIKES: being in charge or at least being the one behind plans, warm water, winter, linguistics, music, knitted scarves
DISLIKES: mortality, being perceived as cold, imposed high standards, her issues, the way suqi looks at her, government, being told to smile
HOBBIES/TALENTS: genetically a very good singer but doesn’t do so often, picks up languages quickly: knows Norwegian, Swedish, English, French and is working on Russian and Mandarin
BACKSTORY: She grew up in Norway on an island with her colony. It was her entire world until she and her friends started sneaking out to the villages nearby when the adults were on hunting trips. Of course she knew who they were, her colony had good relations with the surrounding peoples, often trading and sharing skills and news, but she found the people to be fascinating and full of stories. She became friends with a lot of people in the village, and ran away to stay with them. She hadn’t planned ahead, and ended up getting caught on by her friend’s mom. Though she loved her community, she wanted adventure. She did more research and planning with help from her new friends in the villages, fueled by teen angst and unwavering curiosity. With help from her colony, she caught a plane that went to Canada, where she met Suqi. They became fast friends and then, a year later, girlfriends. Sadly, their relationship didn’t go very well. Aiden was cold and forceful and Suqi was timid and never said what she wanted or felt, leading to them finally breaking up. Some other stuff happened and eventually Aiden fell into the drug addict she is today, living alone working at a gas station and odd jobs wherever she can and slowly trying to pull her life back together.
vulgar, meme loving, alien child who will kick your bootie on sight
NAME: Katrina Anne Hershins
NICKNAMES: Katie, Kayo/K.O.
AGE: 19
BIRTHDAY: 11/5/1997
GENDER: n/a
PRONOUNS: they/them
APPEARANCE: 5’1, white with a bad summer tan (sock lines and everything), neon green shaved hair that’s naturally that blond everyone seems to hate, grey/blue eyes, no boobs/butt/curves and toned, the strongest thighs, stretched ears and a septum piercing (they were gonna get their nipples done thank god that didn’t happen can you imagine the chafing from running that much)
SEXUALITY: “whatever”
AESTHETIC: lazy alien glitter party vaporwave space trash
RELATIONSHIPS: friends with Jay from tennis, memes around with Kieran and Mikael
FAMILY MEMBERS: dad and stepmom and twin stepsiblings Heather and Kyle who are 13. Mom is single with a lot of mingle and lives in New Jersey
TRAITS: active, makes promises and doesn’t keep them, unreliable, tough as nails, aggressive, competitive, hard time conveying feelings, self deprecating humor, vulgar, will talk to anyone
LIKES: piercings, sports/competition, bright colors, aliens, conspiracy theories, fighting and adrenaline, huge tshirts, astronomy, irony, memes, early 2000’s kids shows
DISLIKES: commitment/attachment, consistency, know-it-alls, unnecessary rules, being touched, health diets
HOBBIES/TALENTS: plays soccer and tennis, was on volleyball and track team in highschool, trained themself not to be ticklish out of sheer willpower, surprisingly good with photoshop
BACKSTORY:
They lived in Pennsylvania with their closed minded parents until the two split when they were 9. Their mom stayed close for a few years, until their dad remarried a lady with twins who was also just out of a divorce. They weren’t very fond of their new stepmom nor the 7 year old twins. They were already a pretty violent and aggressive person, and the new marriage only made it worse. They were a reckless tween, pulling off petty crimes (think bad graffiti and stealing baby jesus from lawn nativity scenes) and staying out all night. Their stepmom was much more closed minded than their mom was, and brought out their dad’s strictness. Eventually they got fed up with Kayo’s antics, and sent them off to boarding school when they were 14. Kayo at least had enough say to make sure the school had sports, and they were glad it was far away. Their dad, stepmom and stepsiblings still live together in Pennsylvania.
Update: Kayo graduated high school (woo) and goes to college on scholarship for soccer. they are currently majoring in astronomy but it’s so boring. nothing to do with your hands and professors talk too much.
Hedonistic, delusional babydoll studying to become a surgeon
NAME: Mimi Calhoun
Nicknames: The Screaming Mimi, Little Bitch Baby/LBB
AGE: 18
BIRTHDAY: 12/22/97
GENDER: female
PRONOUNS: she/her
APPEARANCE: 5’7, pasty white, wavy dark brown hair down to her tits, light brown eyes, freckles
SEXUALITY: “heteroflexible”
AESTHETIC: creepy cute, rose pink, satin and blood, old dolls
FAMILY MEMBERS:
TRAITS: attention loving, dramatic, vulgar, secretive, narcissistic, rooted, hedonistic, ambitious
LIKES: stuffed animals, teeth, satin, gore, menhera, lolita, old books, the little mammals of the world
DISLIKES: summer, cold showers, camping, small talk, romance
HOBBIES/ TALENTS: can scream very loud, is God, oddly good at French and Irish accents
BACKSTORY: ???
Name: Elon Starborne
Pixie
Age: 105
Sex: Male
Height: 1’5
Weight: 195 lbs
Body Type: Muscular
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Purple
Hair Type: Short
Piercings: None
Race: Caucasian
Nationality: Unknown
Birthplace: Seattle
Languages: Chinese, Japanese, Korean
Strengths: Good with people, first impression
Weaknesses: Smart ass, tiny, not intimidating
Bad Habits: Cocaine addict
Fears: Bats, other pixies
Turn ons: Jaw lines, wits, cleverness, puns
Turn offs: dreadlocks
Sexual Orientation: Bi-sexual
Marital Status: Single
Children: none
Pets: Friend Aura has a dog
Mother: name unknown
Father: name unknown
Jack was the first to wake. Of course being an insomniac has some issues, but at least he was the first to get to breakfast. Jack got back from the dining halls and nudged Ellie and Hunter to wake them up. “Did you know one of my old friends used to own a bread factory; it burned down, now his business is toast. TOAST!” said Jack holding a slice of bread in front of Ellie’s face. The group’s breakfast consisted of two slices of thinly sliced bread, a water bottle of cafeteria quality milk, and a small to go cup filled with crushed cheerios; it was a feast.
The next week was all about assembling the materials they needed to pull off a successful heist: ski masks, black turtle necks, rope, the whole nine yards. Victory loves preparation, but improv was the real major for all college students. The crew finished up their feast and went into town to collect materials.
Of course, in college towns there is nothing suspicious about a group of people going to buy matching turtle necks and ski masks, it is a common occurrence. Ellie and Jack walked out of the cloth shop wearing their new gear, and making fun of Hunter’s. “aww, I’ll admit I can’t pull off the ‘turtle neck’ look as well as you two, but at least now I look inconspicuous.” Ellie looked at Jack and said “you know, I didn’t invent the turtle neck, but I was the first to recognize it as tactical garment.” “Huhhhh, Archer references,” muttered Jack.
With a spiffy new look, the trio strutted back to the car and opened and closed all the doors in unison. Hunter retrieved the aux cord, plugged in his phone and….”SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME….” The windows rolled down and Smash Mouth got the attention of the other families walking through the lot. “Well this is good practice to help with our unostentatious nature” said Jack sarcastically.
The crew rolled out of the parking lot and headed for the hardware store, to get some cheap, sturdy rope. Hunter ran into the store while Jack and Ellie sat in the car listening to their large variety of movie soundtracks. After just a few minutes, Hunter ran up to the passenger side of the car where Jack was sitting and flashed a little pug toy that was for sale at the cashier belt. He stuck it on the window and Jack quickly opened up his door to hit Hunter. He fell to the ground, and sat there, silently for several seconds.
“Shit, I think I killed him,” Said Jack. Jack stepped out to give Hunter a hand. “How do you manage to put up with me?” asked Jack sticking his hand out toward Hunter. “Unconditional love” he replied with a nervous tone. Hunter brushed the rubble, off his turtleneck, threw the rope in the trunk, and got back in the car. After a short drive, they were all back on campus.
The time of the heist was coming. It was a Wednesday night and Chris’s family vacation was just a few days away. The vengeful urge was growing, and the trio was ready to take away everything Chris never deserved. The next two days were about rest, just in case a quick getaway was necessary, or in case they had to think on their feet. They all returned to their dorm rooms and sprawled across their beds. It was time to play the waiting game.
“Hey…hey…guess what?” “I am literally going to harm you,” said Jack. “I ate two pieces of string cheese, and they came out tied together; I shit you knot.” Jack grabbed the heaviest textbook in reach and smacked it on Hunter’s leg. “Damn you and your puns!” Said Jack. “…SHIT YOU KNOT…,” Hunter continued “oh, I hate myself.”
Ellie grabbed the last slice of pizza and continued studying the layout of house number two. “So how the hell do you know no one is going to be home?” asked Ellie. “Like I said, he’s an idiot, he doesn’t exactly keep private things quiet. His stepmom and dad are scheduled to take their annual trip to the Caribbean early next month; and he always tags along” said Hunter “This is going to work.”
The blueprint for the house was spread across the table, held by an unmatched shoe and a coffee stain that stuck it to the surface. The print showed the main entry points to the house, including deck doors, windows, and dog doors. Hunter recalled the last time he tried to fit through the Corgi size dog door, with not the best of luck. “Yeah, I don’t know about that” he said. “I think our best shot is the deck doors on the second floor.” “Dude, we don’t have a ladder, we need something more practical; plus don’t you think the neighbors might see us?” asked Ellie. “There is a hot tub sitting right under the deck. One of us can hop on the cover, and pull ourselves up over the deck balcony. Those doors are never locked, and they lead straight to the office” recalled Jack.
The office of the first house was where Chris’s father kept not only the entire line of apple products, but also the safe. The contents of that room they knew were worth well over twenty thousand dollars, enough to take care of their tuition bills for the rest of the semester. “All we have to do is get the computers to the car and the safe opened” said Hunter. “…and how the dicks are we going to get the safe open?” asked Jack. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” answered Ellie “we’re college students, we don’t plan, and somehow things always workout.”
After fourteen consecutive hours in a dorm room, gathered around two-dimensional drawings of a house, a rough schematic was born. Four large pizza boxes were stacked in the corner, and the three friends were spread across the floor with twitching eyes, praying that this heist would be enough to get them through the rest of the semester. “Chris, Jeffrey, Carey, Megan…Chris, Jeffrey, Carey, Megan,” muttered Hunter drifting to sleep. “Bro, you need to take a break from game of thrones,” said Jack, “we’ll figure out the rest of the plan in the morning.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Everyone has been in a situation of desperation. No two are alike, but on some level everyone can relate, especially college students. The smell of Ramen boiling in the microwave, the taste of stale pizza from three months ago, and the constant need to look for quarters and dimes that fell from our fellow students’ pockets is something all students are familiar with. It is just a matter of how far they are willing to go in desperate times.
“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?! HOW STUPID CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE?” Hunter’s friend had just screwed up pretty good, putting an end to his relationship with his high school best friend. Just another dumb ass who couldn’t keep himself under control during the summer vacation. “There is more to life than partying!” Hunter said. “Goodbye Christopher.”
Chris was the type of kid who had everything handed to him. Both sides of his family got a new car every few months, and gave him the brand new Escalade to drive around. Even after a dozen speeding tickets and twenty points on his license, he got no punishment, and continued on with life not knowing how to learn from his mistakes. He was uneducated, unwilling, and just plain stupid. He had no plans for his future, and left high school to live at his dad and step mom’s house.
Hunter had different plans. High school was over but college offered new beginnings. He was no genius, but knew that he and his other close friends can keep things rolling up at school, even if they were all really broke.
Work and Jobs the summer before had proven useful, but tuition, food, and school fees were a new issue. Art majors, Engineering majors, Science majors, and business majors all have to cough up twelve thousand dollars a semester for imitation food and cheap housing.
By mid second semester, Hunter, Jack, and Ellie had to figure out what to do for money. With only odd skills, and no time in between classes for work, nothing struck them as plausible.
After many long nights of hypothetical situation discussions, and many drinks, Hunter finally had one idea that would make him and his friends enough money to be financially secure the rest of the semester. “I got it!” he declared. “We’re going to rob Chris’s rich ass.” “Okay.” Said Ellie and Jack nonchalantly.
They knew exactly how much of a low life he was, and they all knew he had it coming. Both sides of Chris’s family were all pretty well off. Chris reaped the benefits with the ipad Christmas presents, car birthday gifts, and money bundles, all coming from his parents. He never appreciated it, never understood it, and never deserved the perks that he was given daily. Jack, Hunter and Ellie believed it was only ethical to do something about it.
Considering Hunter’s former relationship with Chris, he knew the floor plans of his houses pretty well. Chris crashed at the multiple houses his family owned. Unlucky for him Hunter knew the ins and outs of every room, every hall, and knew exactly what goods were within. The trio started planning.
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