Fan Fiction

Marvel’s Greatest Tourist: Issue #9

April 26, XXXX

The Femme Fatale charged against us.

Locale: “Those are the terrorists who attacked the city.”

Knockout: “And you are the pest from the helicarrier. I got a score to settle with you.”

One of the ladies jumped on Knockout’s back.

Bloodlust: “Dibs! You can have the blue cat.”

She hopped off Knockout using her as a spring broad.

Knockout: Bloodlust!”

I transmuted the floor below me, and Bloodlust crashed midair. I used the stone to solidify the space around me. She dropped to the ground.

Knockout: “I told you that this guy has some power over the environment.”

Mindblast: “I will assist her.”

I was levitated out of the dungeon, and the woman with the exposed brain followed me with Bloodlust to the floor above.

Locale: “Come on, Ladies. I am not here to fight.”

Bloodlust: “Well, that’s too bad because I am dying to shred anyone who can topple over Knockout so easily.”

Mindblast: “You brought this on yourself. Bloodlust.”

Bloodlust: “Sure thing, Mindblast.”

Bloodlust ran at me with those with punch daggers. I never thought I would use my weapon, but what separates a real man from a dead man is the will and tools to fight. I pulled out my Nunchaku and knocked her first strike with it, but the second dagger was coming. I transmuted my weapon in my right hand and waved my left arm. It generated a wave that blocked the second attack. 

Bloodlust: “What?”

With her distracted and still stunned by my counter, I tried to use an axe kick, but Mindblast blasted me with a telekinetic shockwave. I was knocked through a car door and lying in the backseat.

Locale: “Uuuuh. Can you please fight me one on one?”

Mindblast: “Sorry, pal. But this is a fight to the death. Fairness is…”

Bloodlust: “…Is out the window!”

Bloodlust came out of the car door behind me and tried to stab, but I sensed that my foot was touching glass. So, I transformed it. Before Bloodlust could gut me, her face was pressed against the air between us.

Bloodlust: “Not again!”

I quickly got out of the car. Bloodlust jabbed at the air and shattered it. She ended up falling into what I assumed to be another dimension. That is good. Now, I have to deal with the brains behind brutal. I deactivated my effect to close the rift.

Locale: “I was going to get my one-on-one one way or another.”

Mindblast: “Fine then, but in the end, you’ll have to fight the greatest enemy of all: Your Mind.”

Mindblast placed her hands on her head, and then my head felt weird. I lost sight of her momentarily, but when my vision returned, I was back in high school. I walked down the hallway with students snickering behind my back.

“Oh, look. It’s Barney the Dragon.”

“That is a wicked tattoo. Oh, wait. That’s your actual face.”


“Touch of makeup will cover that right up.”


Locale: “Leave me alone!”

I tried to grab something, anything. I needed them to stop laughing at me. I found something and transmuted it. I want them to stop. I was so mad I wanted to punch all of them. I let out my rage at them, and then I was back to reality. I looked around and noticed a lot of holes everywhere, and in the corner was Mindblast. She was not dead, but she wasn’t dead. That’s good. I guess, but what she did was very dirty. Did I really do all this? I don’t know how, but I will think about it later. I went back to the dungeon. Wolverine and Beast are still fighting the two remaining terrorists, and the chick with the black outfit is still next to Cyclops.

Wolverine: “Arrgh! Kid, help Beast with Snake Whip.”

Locale: “Right, Chief.”

I ran over to help Beast, but in my eagerness, I transmuted the floor and ended up sliding on a wave of conceptual energy, if that made any sense, and I crashed into Snake Whip. We both hit the wall with her between me and it. She is not getting up anytime soon. Beast grabbed Wolverine and tossed him at Knockout right into an iron maiden. He closed on her and reassured me that she was super tough. With all the Femme Fatale defeated, there is only their boss left.

Goblin Queen: “No! You can’t have him! I won’t let you have him!”

That sinister light from before erupted from her, and it formed into an even more sinister creature with demonic wings. 

Goblin Queen: “The Goblin Force will swallow all!”

Locale: “The…”

Cyclops & Beast: “Goblin Force?”

Wolverine: “Lady, I don’t care if it was The Elephant Force. We are the X-Men…plus one.”

Goblin Queen: “Then you will be the first to go.”

The monstrous entity lounged at Wolverine, and I transmuted some iron shackles for their defense. I jumped between them, and in a flash…nothing happened. My conceptual defense went, and so was that monster. Wolverine and Beast tried to apprehend her.

Goblin Queen: “Arrraaah! I will have one day, my love.”

The Goblin Queen vanished like magic. Wolverine cut Cyclops free.

Beast: “Now, we just need to gather these ladies for the police.”

Locale (Before going upstairs): “Oh, Let me get the ones upstairs. I think one might be stuck in another dimension.”


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AgentFacultas avatar
I also go by the pen name Regis Floats, the author of The Good Enough Evil/ Bonsatilum Series.

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