Realistic Fiction

The Reverse Midas Touch

Everyone knows that one person who just can’t keep their mouth shut. Someone who has such a huge ego, they cannot admit they’re wrong. Dick Richards is that person. He is a fat, lazy, arrogant man who holds the world record for the most useless words spewed out during any given discussion. Dick claimed to be intelligent, unbiased, and skilled. The truth, however, is the exact opposite.


Dick created situations in his mind to make him out to be correct. If anyone told him otherwise, his over inflated ego would convince him that the naysayer was the one who was wrong. “No no no. That’s not what I said. What I said was….” is a an extremely common phrase in his daily vocabulary. Dick also has a tendency to answer questions about subjects he has no experience with. You will never here him say “I don’t know,” because he is unable to admit it. And even if he could, he would first convince himself that he knows more about than even the experts.


On top of his everyday horseshit, Dick has been dubbed “Anti-Midas,” the opposite of King Midas, and the opposite of the Midas touch. Some are familiar with Midas’ ability to touch any object and turn it to gold. Dick had just the opposite. Dick could touch a solid gold bar, and turn into a pile of dirt (metaphorically, of course). Dick’s ego convinced him that he deserved to be a part of other people’s businesses; this, is what eventually led to the businesses downfall.


One business he spoke a lot about, before its destruction, was AU-Corp. AU-Corp, oddly enough, was actually a small gold mining company based in the Colorado mountains. Its revolutionary and even patented technology was used to find the most appropriate mining locations. AU-Corp was a company that was sure to see a lot of profit, until Dick got involved. Dick and his brother Gerald were some of the first shareholders of AU-Corp, and even helped finance their first gold mine. Gerald, already having a solid job, forked over some money to the company as seed money, thinking that he could multiply it to over $10 million within just a few years. Gerald returned to his day job as a chiropractor and left the company to do its thing.


In the meantime, Dick stuck around to get more involved with AU-Corp’s business. Even though no executive liked him, he originally lent them some start up money, so they at least had to pretend to like him or give him some authority. Dick made it clear to the company’s higher-ups that acquiring more than just a few gold mines should be priority number one. Right now there shouldn’t be in any digging, just get more mines going.


Dick spoke to Gerald a few weeks later to tell him what he thought was exciting news. “We’re gonna buy a few more mines” he told Gerald. “What the hell are you doing!” Gerald screamed back. “You don’t need that many mines until you have more money to work with. Just go out there with a donkey and a shovel, and get me a bucket of gold!” “No no no” Dick insisted “We have to get that Aspen mine and the Estes mine first.” Gerald hung up and left Dick to destroy the company. A few weeks later, it was as if AU-Corp never existed.



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